Intentional Gatherings Vegas is rockin' and rollin'... ... 

     Here we are. I’m sitting in the grass down the street from our house in the neighborhood park. My wife is next to me, and my puppy is sniffing the grass next to me; she’s looking for a place to pee…I’m sure of it. I woke up this morning feeling very anxious. I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned, which was weird because Morgan and I spent about an hour processing, and thinking through our lives here in Vegas. The hour seemed to have ended with peace and rest. We begged for your presence to invade our lives where we are missing you. We asked that you would be in charge, and be so much bigger than OUR plans. We begged that YOUR plan would intersect ours, and be priority. We felt peace, and as we prayed to you we were able to rest in you. We watched a movie together, and then went to bed…it was 1am.
   

     I should have been tired, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with this, and that. I think I finally fell asleep around 3am. I woke up this morning feeling extremely weighed down. I was in chains, in bondage. But to what? As I lay there next to my beautiful wife a song by Shane and Shane played over and over in my head. The song speaks of the enemy’s plans to steal, kill and destroy us; he whispers lies into our ear, and tries to steal our joy. The writer goes through the brokenness of us, as Christ followers, and how we are cursed and gone astray. The enemy whispers this into our ear. The writer would suggest that we not try to escape that accusation, but that we embrace it as truth! One of the verses says, “could the father of lies, be telling the truth?” The song goes on through all of the ways that the enemy is right. The end of the song proclaims such freedom, “I cannot gain salvation…oh the devil’s singing over me, an age old song, that I am cursed and gone astray. Singing the first verse so conveniently over me. He’s forgotten the refrain…JESUS SAVES!”
   

     That song echoed in my mind as I lay there holding my wife. My soul screamed for peace from Jesus.. I longed for the faith to embrace that accusation from the enemy, and allow that to fuel my appreciation, and understanding of the grace of Jesus in my life. You see, I am a slave to performing. I am a people pleaser. I have goals for myself. They are all goals of kingdom growth. I even have a vision from the Lord. “How can this be a bad thing”, you might ask. The problem is that we (I) so often become slaves to “ministry”. We forget about the saving grace, and sovereignty of God. We think it’s all up to us to change the world, and somewhere along the way think we figured out how to do it. We push God out of the picture. We get so caught up in the works, and tasks of “growing the kingdom” that we sometimes forget what the kingdom, and it’s growth even looks like (or means).
   

     I thank Jesus daily for my wife, and how He uses her to softly remind me of what the kingdom is, and what our purpose as Christ followers is. If it weren’t for her I’d be in my office all day replying to emails, answering phone calls, and planning things. I’d be in meetings all day, and trying to cast vision and grow MY thing. I would be “creating a place of community” for those in our neighborhood, and opportunities for outreach among those we do life with. “But Aaron, what’s wrong with these things!?” That is a good question, and one worth asking. Of course, there is nothing wrong with those things. They are all great things. The problem, however, is when we allow ourselves to become a slave to them. In the midst of all of these “good” things we get distracted, and lose sight of what discipleship looks like. We forget what it means to pour ourselves into a few people. We think that if we can just have a few more people at our gathering, or add one more outreach to the schedule (to bless more people, of course!) that the Lord will be more pleased with us at the gates. The song echoes in my mind again…
    This stuff may not resonate with any of you. The truth is that it seems like every time that I start thinking I’ve got “it” figured out I end up on my face desperately crying out to my savior…to SAVE ME. (Usually from myself) I have to constantly remind myself that I am, daily, being saved. I wasn’t once saved, and now waiting for heaven. I am daily being saved, being reconciled to the Father, being humbled, being grown, and learning how to choke out my flesh by feeding the Spirit of Jesus that is in me.
   

     “Lord, please never let us forget YOU in the midst of the things we feel you’ve called us to DO. For the things we do are NOT the end. They are simply a means to the end. May YOU, and YOUR saving Grace be what consume us daily. Set us be set free from the need to perform, and gain your favor. Remind us that we are made perfect in your eyes through Jesus. Teach us how to raise up passionate disciples of YOU. It is in the precious, powerful, and loving name of Jesus I pray these things. Amen.”