There are many challenges for us all in the days to come.  Hope only endures and prevails when the people who shouted "Yes we can!" match words with actions, and what we know in the helping professions as a little "sweat equity".  Hope only endures and prevails as we lift up that which unites us in common purpose for the common good.  I do have an awakening sense of hope, and I don't want to lose it, not to my own or others' cynicism, or to difficult realities in our community, our nation, our world.  What happens when rhetoric meets reality?  Supporters and adversaries are asking similar questions... 

This is an anemic economy for church planters and fundraisers to be casting seeds of hope in.  In these days, people want something more than a promise of what could be... "give us a sign!" People want something solid, measurable, something tangible...  So do I!  Our slowly growing core group feels like a tribe of wanderers (somewhere between the "known" of "Egypt" and the promise of hope and a sense of home just over the next horizon).   Where will we meet?  What will we eat?  When do we have a sense of structure and stability?  How will we know when we have arrived? 

On the journey, in the meantime, we are growing a church through worship, mission, and community.  We are gathering together weekly for "Living Room" groups, gathering monthly for worship, and monthly mission opportunities in the local area.  We don't go to a church (building), we ARE the church!  We proclaim hope to all the world, God's Kingdom, on earth, as it is in heaven.  And our words need to be matched with our actions, and a little "sweat equity" to make hope for justice to roll down, for grace and love to ring true.  And slowly, noticibly only if you slow down and pay attention, the seeds of hope are awakening, and taking root, even in the midst of these waning days of autumn, even as the cold and crunch of winter greys over, even in the midst of the unknown, in the midst of fear, in the midst of change, the green of hope is budding...

"Listen!  What do you make of this?  A farmer planted seed.  As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road and the birds ate it.  Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly.  Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled among the weeds and nothing came of it.  Some fell on good earth and came up with a flourish, producing a harvest exceeding his wildest dreams.  Are you listening to this?  Really listening?" (Mark 4, The Message)

As one who is attempting to plant a new faith community, I have really felt connected to this parable of Jesus'.  Conversations with strangers and friends along the path of life, seeds of grace scattered in our daily living... our bodies, minds and spirits the soil that God is at work in, some of it rocky, some full of weeds, some ready and "good earth"...

So these past few weeks have been pretty frustrating.  Not alot of growth or "fruit" to be seen of any of the "planting" that we are doing.  No sign of green even budding.  (Patience, Grasshopper.  ....stay awake.  Watch and pray).  We are into the third full month of our first "Living Room" group that meets in our house on Tuesday nights for conversation, scripture, songs, and prayer.  Its been hard to grow the group, let alone plant a second, third, or fourth group (a part of our "strategic plan".... hmmmmm....)

I was not expecting anything "new" this past Tuesday night.  But a new person came.  He was not "invited" by me and I had never met him before.  He was not even invited or expected by the person who drove him to our house.  A person in our group, Bob, had stopped by Central Seminary to pick up a student from India, Mary, who has been coming to the group.  But she could not come this week.  However, Mary had told Wilson about our group and so Wilson was waiting at the front door of the seminary for Bob, a person whe had never met, in order to come to a house of strangers.... our house.

It gets better.  Wilson is from Kenya, and came to Central Seminary in Kansas City because long ago missionaries from the States went to Kenya, and generations of faith had taken root there from seeds that were planted long ago.  Wilson gave his life to Christ as a teenager, and as he accepted a call to ministry, he learned of Central because other people from his home had recieved training there.  So he and his wife and thier child have moved from Kenya to Olathe, Kansas, so that he can go to a seminary that will equip him with training to plant a new church for African immigrants who have come to America.  And Wilson was curious about our fragile little church "plant", a fragile seed taking root on the western edge of the city.

On Tuesday night, I was weary.  I did not expect anyone new to come to our Living Room... but Wilson came.  And we were amazed at God's presence in a seed that was blooming that we did not plant, but might have an opportunity to water and help grow.  As we were closing in prayer, my new friend felt led to offer the group a blessing.   He sang a song called "Working in the Fields of the Lord" in English and in Swahili.  And a seed of grace took root in my heart.  And I could see and feel the green again...

"one day when Jesus comes again he'll find me working in the fields of the Lord"

"Half-Life" is a scientific mathematical term used to describe the probability of and measurement of decay (radioactive decay, other forms of exponential decay).  I see decay every day in the mirror, and so do you.  I used to be invincible.  Perhaps now, I just have more wisdom and humility when it comes to knowing my limits.  The hair is graying, the joints are aching, the teeth need work, the muscles are softening--decay.

More than the physical (or radioactive), I wonder about the half-life I feel I am living in comparison to something more complete, something better, something more. 

There once was an old man.  He was an avid reader, he lived by the rules, he was respected as a wise leader in the community.  But I think he felt he had been living a half-life.  So one night, in the dark while the world was sleeping, he snuck over to Jesus and asked him a question: "Teacher, how is it possible that I could be born again?  What are you trying to tell us with all your talk about being 'born from above'?" (read the story for yourself in the book of John, chapter 3).  This conversation leads to Jesus' saying: "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son.  And this is why: so that no one need be destoryed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life." (John 3:16, from The Message). 

I want that "whole" life.  An abundant life.  To be born anew, in the Spirit of God's love at work in the world.  I want to remember again what the love of God feels like from the purest source.  I want to see the world again with new eyes.  Eyes wide open to the beauty of life, to the wonder of my children as they learn and grow, to the love of Christy--together we made a covenant to be life-companions almost 10 years ago. 

I want to open my life to the community and people around me.  Some days, this is the hardest work I have ever known... We are trying so hard just to start new relationships, to build a community of faith and share a more abundant life with one another, rather than these isolated half-lives that are cut off from each other (And who is my neighbor?).  I want to turn off the TV and savor each waking moment with my kids.  I want to take better care of myself and slow the decay of body, mind, and spirit.  I want to open the door of our home to strangers and friends and encounter the wider world through relationships and go out into the world around me to explore the richness of God's grace in the lives of other people.  Because on my own, I can only see a small, dim part of the wider tapestry of God's grace and light born into the world.

Jesus offers an abundant life; here, now.  Maybe that is still a new and mysterious concept for you.  Maybe you have been a follower of Jesus for a long time, but need to wake up again like me from a half-life to a fully awake awareness of the love of God and the Light of the World.  We are all called to something more.  Something beautiful.  Something made alive in common-union with one another--the richness and beauty and grace and glory of abundant life.  Your life is now!  Our life, together! 

This is just one example of my commitment to making a difference through slacktivism.  I was recently introduced to this term (slackers + activism = slacktivism).  It is one way that I am helping to make a difference.  By the simple click of my mouse, I can help to feed the hungry on the other side of the globe.  Or so my screen tells me.  This is good news!  I can be a world activist without getting out of my chair, let alone the second floor "office" of my larger than necessary air conditioned home.  I can record and implement my faith and values through a globally accessible blog (is anyone reading this?), and through the strenth of the index finger on my right hand, I can set the world's injustices right again through "causes" I support on Facebook (The screen tells me that by sending fake plants to my friends I am saving thousands of square feet in the rainforest, so it must be true). 

All I have to do is lift (and click) my finger.... "may Your Kingdom come, may Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven...."  with liberty and justice for all.

Okay so you can probably see where this is headed.  Midway through his time with them, Jesus sent his disciples out into the countryside and communities around them... they had not yet "graduated" but this was their "field education".... hands-on training that would sometimes be difficult and dirty and sweaty work.  Certainly they made mistakes along the way, or didn't have all the right words to say, or were confronted by others who shared worldviews that opposed the message they proclaimed.  Doors were slammed in their faces, entire towns may have un-welcomed them... yet they were sent.  Jesus' verb for the disciples was not "sit down, be comfortable".  Jesus' verb for disciples was and is: "GO!" Make disciples, heal the sick, proclaim the Gospel...!

I'm going to keep on clicking the buttons on the screen and hope that what the screen says is true... that the hungry are fed, the earth is renewed, and justice is served.  But I am going to challenge all who share the journey, "don't just sit there... do something!"  Go!  Preach about justice and grace with your words and your actions.  Pick up the trash you see along the path.  Turn your thermostats to a less comfortable position and buy the compact flourescent bulbs and recycle.  Share meals with your neighbors and support local businesses that promote fair trade in the global market.  Invest less for yourselves in Wall Street and more for others through local mission centers and ministries.  Volunteer more!  Speak out for the candidate of your choice (and make sure you have really done your homework rather than accepting sound bytes as true).  Dig under the surface of the promises made on the shiny packaging, and speak the truth to power!

And most of all, love.  Love with an active, intentional love that takes more work than you can do from that chair or through the screen these words are on... Love in the way that Jesus loves--loving God with heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving neighbor as you love yourself.  Open your life to all you encounter, that through relationships, trust is born, we find strength in one another, and God can transform our lives and our living.

We can pray like Jesus, "...Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." and then we can work so that all may have daily bread, all may forgive and be forgiven, and all may be led from temptation and evil.  For it is God's Kingdom (not ours), God's power (not ours), and God's glory (not ours) that we are called to get our hands a little dirty for...

and, according to another wise sage, "Do or do not.  There is no try."

And God is with us on the Journey... 

To be "Go World" means that we all need to realize we're all on the same planet, and this is it folks... what we do with God's creation matters. Where and how much we think we "need" to drill for oil matters.  How we share resources with all of humanity matters.  How humanity fights for land grabs such as South Ossetia or power grabs in Mauritania or power/control/security grabs in Iraq or Afganistan or Pakistan matters.  Human Rights travesties hidden behind makeshift brick walls and thick smog in China--all of it matters.  How might we be more "Go World" as people of faith speaking and working for justice and hope and freedom and love and grace in all the world?  ... and not just cheering the wide-angle-flat-HD screen from the comfort of our crumb covered couches and our air-conditioned perspectives on how the rest of the world is "going".

 Last night, (yes--from my couch) I watched the showdown between the female gymnasts from China and the USA, with a few glimpses of Romania tossed into the coverage.  As we watched some amazing and disciplined atheletes, we heard commentary on the differences of their lives and the cultures they were raised in--some atheletes taken by their government at age three to live regimented lives, other atheletes with the desire, and the privelege, to choose the life that led them to this moment--and the Romanian girls, who began years ago in a communist system and now, having been "westernized" struggling within the structures and systems of two worlds.... In this glimpse into these young lives in the spotlight of the world, we saw grace and strength and beauty and determination.  We also saw stumbles and balance problems and pain and regret and sorrow.  We saw joy and pain.  we saw a glimpse of life.  We saw our differences--vast differences.  And we also saw the humanity... at the heart, we are very much the same. 

We are all about "go out into the world and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...."  Yet it is amazing to me that those who are out and about preaching and teaching and evangelizing are so wrapped up in their own cultural bias and competitiveness that they forget just how "Go World" Jesus and Jesus' commission was and is...  Our culture's nature (in politics, business, and competition) is to be "us" versus "them", and our churches are the same way, competing, and pointing out the "thems" rather than cooperating toward a more loving and just world--living in such a way that encourages all to walk together in the way of Jesus.  It is not assimilation that we need to be about--authentic community embraces diversity and finds commonality in our human-ness as we grow in relationship, and transformation is the work of the Spirit.  "There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus."(Gal. 3:28)   That does not mean that there are no differences, but instead that they don't matter for we are one in Christ--in Christ we belong--even in our human-ness and differences, we are embraced, and we can be transformed.  Everybody wins... that is something to cheer for.  Go World! 

We all live busy lives.  Yet it is so easy, even in the bustle of a growing city to live very isolated lives.  So it really feels good to make connections and find authentic friendships and to share life together.  That is what "authentic community" is about--coming just as you are, sharing the path of life with others, building relationships, having permission/freedom to question, to change, to learn, to grow, to be.  So many places (mostly churches) try very hard to "market" "authentic community", but I think that is a hard sell--not necessarily a dishonest attempt, for the effort is from the heart--but sometimes community "finds" you rather than the other way 'round. 

I was invited to join a group of several strangers and two old/new friends. I could have stayed home and played on the Wii, or get caught up on emails, or feed the addiction to Facebook.  Instead, I went to a new place and joined up with a group of people who in the midst of trivia night have found/encountered a sense of place/connection that is "community".  And I was included.  Thats worth more than what I invested.  And hey, the $2 (half a gallon of gas) got me more than all the way home.  But what will get me to go back to trivia night is the (priceless) connection with re:newed and new friends--and the sense of "common-union" that found me...

One of the cool things about this week was the chance to share meals with old and new friends.  Some of the planning team and volunteers of the conference have been a part of the process of these events for over a decade, with at least two meetings a year and then the national gathering taking place once every four years.  Over these years some of us have become quite close.  In fact, this has become a community of trust for me and some of the only people I have been able to completely open myself to as we have shared experiences in ministry, even though we come from far off places and different backgrounds.  It was good to just be with friends once again, (and one of the only reasons I had returned for another four year commitment that officially ended yesterday).  

 It was also cool to be able to place my tray of powdered eggs and (un)crispy waffle at any table and over the course of breakfast share a glimpse of abundant life with strangers/friends who had also come to the mountaintop to worship and share the path of discipleship.  There were "reunions" with kids from Winfield, Kansas (who were not born yet when I first attended a national youth gathering in 1990), my hometown and home church, and I learned that things in Winfield were pretty much the same now as then.  I met youth from Connecticut, Rhode Island, California, Michigan, and more.  I really enjoyed stolen moments at the table with the youth from Indiana and especially "my kids" from FBC Indianapolis.  I had orange juice on my lap one meal as I sat with some of my new friends from Kansas.  And I snuck off the grounds with some of my oldest and dearest friends in the world--we had steak at the Chop House in honor of Houlker.  

The food was average, predictable, industrial, conference fare.  Some meals I opted for a protein bar in place of more chicken or fake eggs.  One meal I skipped altogether to spend precious time with two friends from Indiana that just happened to be passing through the YMCA of the Rockies and at the right moment walking though the registration building as I was having coffee and talking about church planting with another good friend.  I left our time together at that cafe table more than a mile high and that unexpected time together with John and Carol was more nourishing than any food.  

The week ended with an extra day to take the FBC Indy kids to the top of the continental divide and then down to Denver for a hotel night and horrible Mexican food at the infamous Casa Bonita.  

All in all, not the healthiest week food-wise.  But the best part of the week was every moment I had to share the table, to break bread, to linger longer, to hold one another in the care and nourishment of God's spirit-at-work when lives touch.  Jesus knew something of the abundant life and introduced it to us at the table.  If you reflect on your own times when you are simply sharing life at the table with others, (instead of snarfing instant food from impersonal food chains in isolation and in hurry), when we share the table, when we break bread together, we too have a glimpse of and can taste the abundant life.  After all, and especially in moments of communion (common-union), its not the food.  Its the company. 

I am on my way to Colorado for the National Gathering of American Baptist Youth.  In youth ministry years, I am feeling my age.  An old dog, not in the mood for new tricks.  It will be good to connect with friends, but this is the first time in two decades I am not going with a group or taking youth with me.  I'm just "working" as the curriculum guy and the trainer for about 70 high school and college small group peer leaders.  Speaking of delayed, I could wait another week--more time to prepare and organize.  We've had four years to prepare and it seems like every team could use a week or two more. 

So--back to "delayed".  Story of my life these days.  We had a timeline for the new church start that right now is "delayed" until we build more of a core group and identify some leadership for the new church, particularly in music and worship.  It can be frustrating when things don't go according to the "paper plan", but then again, I am (re)learning that the timeline is just paper, and the paper is authored by me.  My timeline, my way.  So we let it go.

What we don't want to let go of is a sense of urgency, a "holy discontent".  We don't want to let go of the vision and mission that we have been called to.  We don't want to let go of the hope.  We can let go of the timeline and "wait upon the Lord"...  God help us discern and then live fully within Your time and Your grace.

So, the wandering Israelites, grumbling about their own delay in the desert, even longing for the "comfort" of the life they knew--slavery in Egypt... I imagine they were much like this growing crowd of frustrated travellers all delayed at KCI.  Delay upon delay, unsatisfying explanations, only the manna of almost fresh Cinnabon to partake of...  Okay so they had it a bit worse than this mass of humanity grumbling around me.  In a previous life, I'd be grumbling and stressing a bit more than now, and yet what does that really gain?  does it change the length of the airline delay in any way? "And by worrying do you gain any span of time in your life?" 

Delayed can be good.  Delayed gratification can be rewarding.  Honest.  Hard to do in this culture, I know!  But "Delayed" can be a (re)learning moment for all of us to put things into perspective, those in our control and those not in our control.  A (re)learning to live in peace with your neighbor (even the fellow traveller in 31B), and especially in peace with your Pilot, whenever it is time (kairos) to TAKE OFF! 

Today, I got to hang out with my friend Mike.  We could never have predicted or planned the circumstances or choices that brought us both back "home" to Kansas; both of us had rooted and connected our lives in other places far away from here.  Both of us have most recently felt more at home elsewhere and not (yet) here, in Kansas.  But today, after more than two years since we last saw each other and really four years since he moved away, we were back together again. 

There are some people you just feel "at home" with.  Mike has been one of those people for me over the years.  Even though its been so long, and there has been a lot of life and experiences that have come and gone, it was like picking up right where we left off.  Our conversation wandered through catching up to issues of faith and life and money and choices and social justice and politics and grace and love and places in our lives that need a little healing.  We treked from Shawnee through Westport and Midtown to downtown KC and then over near 18th and Broadway we entered the "First Church of Arthur Bryant's" and shared a communion of rib tips and a pitcher of Boulevard. 

 We could never have predicted, planned, or ever even remotely wished for the circumstances and choices that led us on the path of life to this reunion.  But here is the grace for the moment (from the Hooter's song, and Mike if you read this, especially for you...) "Its funny how the road can lead back to all the ones you need, you never know who your friends are..."

Today, I do know.  Thank you, Professor Dude man.

There were several lines in the movie that stood out to me, most from the wise and toothless turtle master, Oogway (of course I know turtles are toothless, but this guy was really toothless--drawn to look really old...).  One of the lines was: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift; that is why it is called the present."  I'm sure the writers of the script borrowed that Moment of Zen from somewhere else, but the old turtle said it, and so I'm giving Oogway the credit as the source of those words.  I resonated with those words, especially in our present situation of figuring out how to plant and grow a church from the DNA up; our comfort and security of "yesterday" is now an unseen shore, our destination "tomorrow" is unknown, and "today" we are floating, trusting, navigating, by the gifts of God's spirit and dependent on the graciousness of strangers.  But the gift of today is what we do with the opportunity; how we live this day is a gift to God, to others and to ourselves.

Without giving away the deep secrets of the saga of the Kung Fu Panda, there is one other line that stuck out: "You are the Secret."  (Watch the movie to find out more).  But it made me think about Jesus' words when he sent out the disciples the very first time on their own to preach and heal (see Matthew 10 and Luke 9 for the story).  Jesus said, in essence: "Take nothing for your journey; no money, no extra tunic, or sandals, or staff.  Travel light."  Eugene Peterson's The Message says it this way: "You don't need any extra equipment.  You are the equipment."  The turtle Oogway might say, "You are the secret.  the secret ingredient."  In other words, we already have what we need to accomplish what God desires of us as disciples of Jesus--just as we are, we can preach and heal and proclaim God's grace and glory.  Just as we are, broken and imperfect and seeking and weak and small.  We are enough, just as we are, today, to be God's gift of love to others and to offer ourselves as a gift to God.  There it is, folks, your Moment of Zen.  LIVE THE GIFT!!