Jim Palmer :: Feeds

What about bob?

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Lao Tzu

“Do not worry about tomorrow.” Jesus

“All I have to do is take one little step at a time, and I can do anything.” Bob Wiley

An infinite number of weighty words are continuously strung together for explaining the spiritual concepts and realities we seek and aspire toward. And yet, the above wisdom seems so simple…so do-able…so liveable in the here and now. The Spirit of life, love, peace, joy, contentment, abundance, wisdom, and well-being are within me, which means I am in every moment intimately connected to the source of all goodness. I am not separated from well-being ever, and nothing outside myself is required to produce it. If everyone in the world knew this, everything would change. But that’s quite a burden to bear. I must myself take that first step…and the next…and the next. This day, the next hour…the next minute…the next second is my journey. I cast off my worries about tomorrow, the weighty words and concepts fade into oblivion, and I live the truth today in baby steps. My first step…my baby steps…changes everything.

(photo by zoo gal)

Postscript: Hope everyone had a great holiday and weekend. Last week I forgot to link an interview I recently did if you are interested.

a loving voice calls, awaken

The meaning we have assigned to life in this world is HAVE.

Look around…look within…every single soul on this planet is in…

the hunt to get, to add something to itself it obviously has not - or has and wants more of.

We WANT

…a house

…a car

…a career

…a social status or image
…a man

…a woman

…an affair
…a child

…a perfect body

…vacation

…power

…fame

For that’s where happiness and fulfillment is. Right? It has to be somewhere out there.

And if there be a thing we do not want, then we are told we really do. We hear it long eneough and so now we want it too. So, you have everything? Not so fast! What about the supply? Supply is limited. So we go out, grab this and more - we hoard.

Toil

Sweat

Worry

Fret

Everyone a threat

Look out for number 1. Play the game well, and you can get others to toil for you. Defence, attack, deception and lies are all fair game, and if in the course our brother bleeds to death…well…it’s justified. Some can’t handle the fray so they settle for less along the way and point fingers of blame…and harbor hate and resentment.

This game of suvival has rules, we write them down into books and teach them in schools, so our children learn how to play the fool’s game. We teach them well, to prepare them for this hell.

The game of getting keeps us constantly immersed in a battle of a gain and loss. This keeps fear alive and well…

What if I lose what I have?

What if I don’t get what I don’t have yet?

We lock it up behind a bolted door but we lay awake at night, designing plans against some future loss we fear, events which have not even yet occurred…but they could, we say. If the entire wealth of this planet was distributed equally to every man and woman, within two years the rich would be rich and the poor, poor again. If we stopped for a day to make every homeless person sheltered and every hungry person fed and every vicitm of oppression rescued, within two years they would all be homeless and starving and victimized once again. That’s the insanity of the game; move around the parts, the outcome is the same.

The meaning we have assigned to life in this world is HAVE.

***

Once upon a time there was an Apple tree. One of its branches had an absurd little dream and imagined it was a tree on its own. As a branch, it had all the power of the tree and as such, made the dream its reality. The branch forsook the tee, and dreamed it fell to the ground. For a while, things went well. It was still full of sap and sprouted a few new shoots. But after a while the sap did not flow as it used to and it began to struggle. The fruit it so desired to bring forth were instead small, shrivelled up, bitter, pathetic-looking apples. To make matters worse, all kinds of creatures trampled upon it without any consideration. Suddenly the branch  felt alone, fearful, frail, and uncared for. Its dark green leaves were now dry and just a shadow of what it was before. So the branch began to accuse the tree for leaving it in such misery.

The tree responded with the call to awaken. It send small birds to it, messengers, which began to sing to the little branch, that its experience was only a dream and urged it to awaken. For the tree yearned for its branch to awaken and to participate again in the full awareness of its bounteous dance of life. Yet the branch insisted on its dream, but felt its sap running dry - it withered and died. Its death did not release it from its dream, of course, its death was the central theme of the dream. It first feels relief, but soon it remembers again its desire to be a tree on its own, and the original dream begins again all over again…and again…and again. The birds come, they are refused, and the dream continues over and over.

Then one day, the song of an especially persistent bird pierced its dream. And somehow, for the first time, an ancient memory began to stir, it felt the promise of something so much greater that its continuous misery. It took courage, dared to open and eye and lo - it felt its sap flowing and found itself as part of the tree. It now opened the other eye and before long it knew it was the tree! For where does the tree begin and end? The joy was great! All the birds celebrated together the awakening of the little branch. The little branch had finally come home. The Apple tree was complete once more.

(photo by zoo gal)

the nobody update

So, it looks like a regular feature (at least every now and then) of this blog is going to be my sharing the uneventful happenings of my life, which frankly no one likely gives a flip about. Oh well; maybe it’s therapeutic or something. Who knows.

I got my hair cut today. Normally I go to Style America down the street, and whoever happens to be there cuts it. It’s rare that the same person cuts my hair more than once or twice, it’s almost always someone different. Today, there was a man and woman working. The woman was unwrapping her customer’s hair in that extraterrestrial-looking foil stuff. So I got the man, Marvin.

Marvin is a 61-year-old man, married with grandchildren. It was slightly unusual to me, a 61-year-old man working at a hair salon. I asked if he had ever barbered. Turns out that for many years he had his own barbershop before retiring. What he wanted to “retire” from was all the management responsibilities associated with owning his own business. So he eventually sold his shop but he continues cutting hair on a part-time basis because he still enjoys it.

I asked him about his barbershop, and I was reminded of how back in the day hair-cutting was considered a male occupation. The community barbershop where men cut men’s hair was as normal as hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet. Marvin said that these days a lot of male customers are suspicious of him at first because he is a man who cuts hair.

Marvin enjoyed reminiscing about the good old days at his barbershop, and I enjoyed listening. Seriously, those last three words were not just a nice way to end the sentence. I truly enjoyed meeting Marvin, enjoyed hearing his story, enjoyed sharing in the memories of his barbershop, and enjoyed making a new friend. It felt good. I wasn’t in a big hurry or occupied mentally with a bunch of stuff. It was just opening myself to Marvin, and being all there. There was a strong admiration and respect I felt for him. It wasn’t really related to any of the particulars. He was a fellow human being with his own story of 61 years of living. We were different in many ways and yet we had an undeniable bond with each other; I felt it through and through.
I wondered what it would have been like for me to have lived then and been part of the experience of a hair cut in a barbershop the way barbershops used to be. I feel I would have enjoyed the banter and conversation and the social connectedness of it all. Marvin gave me his card with the days and hours he works, and I plan to go back to him.

In the off-season I do strength training three days a week. I recently added squats to my routine. Today was a squat day. I’m feeling it! This afternoon Jessie and I (and our dog Jack) raked leaves in the front yard. Well, sort of. Jessie and Jack actually jumped in the leaves while I raked them. It was all good. Oh yeah, and we started a new puzzle. It’s one of those Christmasy-looking wintery scenes. 1000 pieces. I’ll keep you posted; I know you’ll be super intersted in our progress.

(photo by Kaio1)

collapsing the illusion

Our perception of reality is grossly distorted by fear. On an individual, family, community, city, country, hemispheric, global level we function with a fear-based mentality. We make fear-based decisions, we create and perpetuate fear-based institutions, we invest endless resources of every kind to fend off or neutralize things we fear. It’s always in the back of our mind…what if. It is so ingrained that we never question the notion that life is an endless number of people, outcomes, conditions, and circumstances to fear. We live in fear. It is the air that we breathe, and the undercurrent to everything that transpires. We fear lack, death, separation, condemnation, aloneness, loss, disease, and calamity. We feel it - nothing is safe, life is not safe. Every imagined fear is held to be an unquestioned certainty, it’s just the way it is. Only a blind idiot cannot see that fear is real and logical and a force that we must contend with in every moment and decision of our lives.

But what if there really isn’t anything to fear? You know, “there is nothing to fear but fear itself.” What if the entire system of fear is a house of cards, and the only thing propping it up is your, my, our belief in it. What if there is no fear apart from the fear we have created and empowered as a result of imagining and believing there is something to fear. What if there is really no lack, or no separation, or no condemnation, or no death, or no calamity?
What would happen if each of us, one by one, began divesting ourselves from all fear? What if each of us began to call fear’s bluff? What if we took every fear-thought captive, and refused to live in fear. What if we totally ceased from giving our energies to fear? What if lived in this world and related to one another without fear? I don’t mean positive thinking or hoping there really isn’t anything to fear, but knowing confidently without any flinch that fear isn’t real. In other words, fear is always dialing up for us a response on what to think, what to do, what to choose, how to act, what to feel, etc. But what if we didn’t follow the response that fear dialed up? We ignored it, didn’t listen, and instead followed through with knowing there is nothing to fear?

What might this involve or look like if you, me, we…tomorrow morning…began collapsing the illusion of fear in our own lives? What would that look like for you?

(photo by zoo gal)

trouble in paradise (or not)

I grew up in an abusive home. From time to time I’m asked to speak to groups of adult survivors of childhood abuse (physical, sexual, emotional abuse). I traveled parts of our world with International Justice Mission, and witnessed firsthand little 8-12 year-old girls abducted into child prostitution - forced to provide sex to customers several times a day, six days a week. I witnessed firsthand child slave labor where kids that same age were chained to a post, expected to reach their quota for rolling cigarettes each day, and beaten if they don’t make their quota. I ran an inner-city non-profit agency that worked with at-risk and abandoned children. Among other things we had a group home for kids who were abandoned by their crack-addict parents. I’ve stared into coffins of teenagers who killed themselves because they felt no hope. I’ve been meeting with homeless people in my community - some homeless by hardship, some mentally ill, some because of drug addiction.

How does “kingdom/paradise” work for all of them? Should we seek to alleviate their human suffering? Or do we tell them it’s not real? Do we tell them to find peace in the midst of their circumstances or do we seek to change the circumstances or both?

Are the people who sit around and talk about “present paradise” upper middle-class white Americans sipping their Caramel Macchiato before headed off to their $10 movie? Is it me or are all the big spiritual gurus wealthy white men - Eckhart Tolle, Ken Wilbur, Neale Walsh, Andrew Cohen, Wayne Dyer, etc…

Okay, I’ll stop there. Obviously I’ve exercised the freedom to toss out huge and unfair generalizations, and I’m being judgmental, and especially cantankerous. Forgive me. But I’m trying to force the issue on how present paradise/kingdom relates to all the misery of the world. I want to hear your opinion and where you are at with it at this juncture. If you genuinely feel that suffering is just an illusion or not real, say so. If you genuinely feel that focusing on changing people’s human circumstances, say so. If you feel it’s both or all of the above, say so. Just try and be specific.

Let’s all agree that we aren’t going to disrespect someone else’s view if it’s different than our own. Obviously, it may seem quite complicated like there’s no easy answer. That’s okay too.

(photo by honikum)

my nobody life

So, last night Pam, Jessie, and I ran some errands together, and it was getting late and we had not yet had dinner. I spotted the Gourmet Super Chinese Buffet. We drive by it all the time but hadn’t eaten there in years. Honestly, it kinda looks scary from the outside. Pam drove us around and Jessie and I went in to check out the buffet and the price. $9.95 for adults, and $7.95 for kids (without the crab legs, which none of us like anyway). It wasn’t an easy decision. We are on a tight budget and even with waters, it was going to be 30 bucks. So we drove around some more and wasted about $20 in gas debating if we should do it. Jessie said she’d use her own money to buy hers and that was enough to push the decision through. I had not had Chinese in a long time, and it was soooo good! We all loved it. With my triathlon training, I’m on a specific diet but I discovered Chinese is a perfect pig-out food for me - rice, noodles, veggies, chicken - as much as I can shovel in.

Should I be worried that I’ve started to really enjoy doing puzzles? Geesh! I can’t stop. Last night everyone else went to bed but nothing was going to stop me from finishing the beak of this frikin bird! I actually agreed to go to Hobby Lobby with Pam and Jessie to look for a new puzzle. Hopefully none of my triathlon friends saw me in there.

I strained a lower back muscle on a run, and so lately I’ve been mostly swimming and biking. This morning I did a spin class at the YMCA. Here’s how it works. I get there early to begin spinning, later on the people for the class show up, and I continue spinning with them. The class ends, they leave, and I just keep on spinning. Same thing in the pool. They come and go, and I continue on.

Somehow I just managed to discover Sarah McLachlan, and there’s something about this song that makes me want to keep listening to it. A portion of the lyrics read,

“I’ve fallen. I have sunk so low. I have messed up…But it’s one missed step. You’ll slip before you know it. And there doesn’t seem a way to be redeemed.”

Ever felt that way? Trapped…like you’re not going to make it…like there’s no hope in going forward…like maybe your entire life is just one big mistake…like you’re just basically tired of doing life altogether…like you can’t conceive of a scenario where your life works out. Well, I’m not the answer man. But I do understand; I have felt all of these things myself, and I’m still here. Sometimes just barely but hey, sometimes barely making it is a huge victory.

Also, should I be worried that at lunch Pam siad she was looking forward to going to the grocery store, and I actually agreed. Do people actually ENJOY going to the grocery store?! Our reasoning had to do with how festive feeling even the grocery store is this time of  year. Wow, this is scary!

Okay, so on my list is:

Low fat Chocolate milk (great recovery drink)

My five different kinds of cereal I mix together

Coffee Creamer (I use tons of it)

Whatever coffee is on sale

Bananas

Stuff for homemade veggie pizza

Diet Organic Root Beer

Orange Juice

Kashi Honey Flax Bars

Beef Jerky (high protein, no fat)

(photo by zoo gal)

Is this Paradise?

I led a workshop at Soularize this past year. Rita Brock was one of four keynote speakers. She shared about a book she had been working on, and when I received a copy in the mail I wanted to read it. The book is, Saving Paradise: How Christianity Traded Love of This World for Crucifixion and Empire by Rita Brock and Rebecca Parker.

The book begins,

“It took Jesus a thousand years to die. Images of his corpse did not appear in churches until the tenth century. Why not? This question set us off on a five-year pilgrimage that led to this book.

Initially, we didn’t believe it could be true. Surely the art historians were wrong. The crucified Christ was too important to Western Christianity. How could it be that images of Jesus’ suffering and death were absent from early churches? We had to see for ourselves and consider what this might mean.”

In a nutshell, the main idea of the book is that the earliest Christian art depicted the significance of Jesus in terms of restoring paradise in this world, and that it wasn’t until the 10th century that the prevailing theme of Christian art became the death and suffering of Jesus. Another key point involves the reasoning behind the shift in focus, which was to justify Christian conquest and colonization.

Brock writes,

“Previously, Christ’s incarnation revealed humanity’s likeness to God and restored humanity’s divine powers as first given in paradise. To be human was to become divine. Now, Christ’s incarnation revealed humanity’s mortality and powerlessness and its brokenness and suffering. To be human was to suffer and die….Jesus ceased to be the forerunner of humanity’s own journey to divinity. Instead, he became a victim whose power lay in his suffering and its judgment against sinful humanity.”

The book is not for the faint in heart, and might rattle your cage depending on where you’re coming from. For example, she details Peter Abelard’s (10th century French philosopher/theologian) misgivings about the atonement theory of the cross,

“Indeed, how cruel and perverse it seems that God should require the blood of the innocent as the price for anything, or that it should in any way please Him that an innocent person should be slain - still less that God should hold the death of His Son in such acceptance that by it He should be reconciled to the whole world. Who would forgive God for killing his own son?”

Brock goes on to say about Peter Abelard,

“He asserted that God’s perfection was not diminished by human sin, and his love was eternally boundless even for sinful humanity. The true lover did not need anything from the beloved.”

The book also covers the dark period of the Crusades,

“As the Council of Narbonne in 1054 declared, ‘No Christian should kill another Christian, for whoever kills a Christian undoubtedly sheds the blood of Christ.’ Those outside the bodu were another matter. The Peace of God excluded non-Christians. In a telling detail, the Council of Narbonne in 1054 used ‘Christian’ where earlier Carolingian codes had condemned shedding the blood of a ‘human.’ The peace made by the blood of the cross drew a closed circle around the Christian community - cloistering the faithful within walls of obligation. Those outside were deemed to be of the devil, not of God. Killing them would come to be regarded as service to God…the Lord’s work.”

Speaking of Pope Gregory IX in 1231 she writes,

“He launched the Inquisition and licensed the church to use torture to discipline heretics and protect the faith…The Inquisition turned the crusading virtue of killing for God against Europe’s own Christians, such as the Cathars…Western Europe became habituated to seeing torture and murder as sacred.”

Further still in history she writes,

“Their theology included war as a way to destroy evil and to fulfill God’s purpose. In 1636, at the Mystic River in Connecticut, a Puritan militia massacred more than four hundred Pequot, including women and children, and burned their village to the ground…William Bradford regarded the massacre as an occasion for thanksgiving, ‘It was a fearful sight to see them thus frying in the fire…but the victory seemed a sweet sacrifice…’”

In the end, Brock challenges us to return to the earliest Christian understandings,which involved restoring paradise through love,

“What we need now is a religious perspective that does not locate salvation in a future end point, a transcendent realm, or a zone after death. Paradise is not withheld, closed, or removed from us. Realizing this requires us to let go of the notion that paradise is life without struggle, life free from wrestling with legacies of injustice and current forces of evil. Assuredly, we are in a world in which the struggle continues. However, it is also true that we already live on holy ground, in the presence of God, with bodies and souls sanctified by the Spirit’s annointing, surrounded by the communion of saints…Another Christianity is possible. It begins when we understand that paradise is already present. We have neither to retrieve it nor construct it. We have to perceive it and to bring our lives and our cultures into accord with it.”

Yeah I know; there’s a lot in all of that to consider (or not). What I was particularly wondering about is this idea of paradise now.

Is paradise already present?

Some people are waiting on it, or are we birthing it now?

Is it a “spiritual/transcendent” thing or does it encompass all “human” things?
Is it a work in progress…like an evolution of Paradise through our conscious participation - perceiving it, expressing it, living in accord with it?

(photo by zoo gal)

Can oppressive religiosity make you sick?

“Dear Jim,

I grew up in and was involved in a fundamentalist protestant denomination up until about a year ago. I am a chiropractor in Milwaukee, and I used to notice that people in the church were sicker more often and a high incidence of diseases like diabetes, stroke, heart attack, and many cancers. Now this was a very small congregation and the rate of disease always seemed high to me. Of course, I have no scientific surveys to confirm this; just my observations. I always wondered if their understanding of God and religion was contributing to all the sickness.

As a doctor, outside of the church now, I can definitely say that it was. I think in religion people lose their sense of freedom. Although we give lip service to Christ’s grace and freedom we live trying to please the God in the sky. Studies with mice find that losing freedom causes accelerated aging and disease.

I remember always feeling like the people in the church saw their health as luck or some greater test from God. As a doctor I know that our health is a matter of what we make of it and not a matter of genes or luck (that’s bad science). The church folk all seemed to act almost like puppets on God’s string waiting for God to move them in every aspect of life. But I always felt conflicted because I thought gave us the grace to chose on our own and be responsible. Where was the freedom?

Often times when I tried to help the pastor or others suffering with health concerns I was met with harsh opposition and many times told not to even try. Obviously this was hard because I knew I could help them live healthier lives in some way.

The point is, there is definitely a physiological response to our spirituality. I am convinced that religion is literally making a lot of people sick; I’ve seen it even in my family. People need a sense of unconditional love and freedom to be healthy. How can a person be healthy if they are told they have to pray and read the Bible everyday first thing in the morning, or else? When they don’t fulfill these expectations their bodies will be stressed neurologically and hormonally.”

So, I have some questions:

What is the relationship between religion or spirituality and health? Can oppressive religiosity cause sickness and disease? Does that mean freedom, unconditional love, recovering your true identity, and living in the real stimulates health? If so, does that mean sickness and disease is symptomatic of a “spiritual problem?” See the challenge? There’s a lot to untangle here.
(photo by Julie70)

“I’m a 31 year old Jewish guy”

Dear Jim,

Thank you! I can’t tell you what a gift Divine Nobodies is to me. I discovered your blog a few days ago and immediately felt that I’d found a friend in spirit.

I’m a 31 year old Jewish guy with OCD who lives with his wife and two goofy kids in a senior citizen home in metro Detroit. The vignette of your childhood in Introduction 2 is such a frightening echo of my childhood, I shuddered my way through it (mom hiding grain alcohol in toilet tanks, driving her to detox without any clothes on, calling the police on my own family, and those tender areas too sore for me to get too…). There is so much I’ve read already that resonates with me.

My wife and I cannot find a synagogue where we feel at home because I think that this guy Jesus is the deepest, simplest, wisest, most radical, most tender teacher in the Jewish tradition, but it turns out that most rabbis don’t feel the same way. And churches don’t seem to work either, because they’re pretty intense about the Bible and saving folks and—I suppose I can’t fault them too much for this—being Christian.

I love Jesus, Jim. My most constant prayer is trying to bring the name Yeshua to mind as often as I can remember in a day. This is a bit hard to talk about with other Jews, you know? I’ve checked in with Messianic Jewish circles, but they’re basically fundamentalists, and that’s not the direction I feel God leading my heart.

I like what you had to say today about our relationships comprising our “church” — or synagogue, as my case may be.

Jim, if your hand of friendship is extended to the wayward Christian feeling that the religion business is a bit too stuffy and legalistic, how would you feel about a doofy Jewish misfit grabbing that hand all the way from the outskirts of Detroit?

A couple final thoughts. Jim, I never thought that at 31 I’d be living with a hundred seniors, waking up, running to their apartments in the middle of the night when they have acid reflux. Standing by when paramedics remove a beloved neighbor. I always thought I’d have a house or something. Life is strange and wonderful. OCD can be so rough, and I think my wife Leah is a lot like your Pam! Sometimes I wonder about Tourettes, too. Here again, I will hold back, though I want to share. But I thought I’d mention another book I love: Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Letham–have you encountered it? I’ve never connected with a fiction character like the Tourette’s riddled protagonist Lionel Esrog. When I first listened to the audio book (and I hugely recommend that you seek out the audio book if at all humanly possible—the performer is so awesome), I found a kindred spirit in Esrog. I think of him often and smile.

Jim, as I write this and think about the pathway you’ve cleared, and the sincerity you radiate as a journeyman on that path, I have one of those smiles that I get when I think of Lionel Esrog: there’s a sense of elation, connection, melancholy, longing, relief, and joy.

How special to have found you!

***

Hello friend. Thanks for contacting me. I deeply appreciate all your encouragement! Thanks especially for sharing some of your own story and journey. Hey, thanks for suggesting Motherless Brooklyn by J. Letham. I’m going to see if I can order it through our library system. I was pondering what I wanted to read next, so thanks.

It is unfortunate that all faiths and religions can’t appreciate how the reality of knowing God is opened and expanded and deepened by great spiritual servants such as Jesus. Jesus himself showed great respect for his own Jewish tradition and the prophets. And yet it is often the case that there are times and situations when we must break from the religious status quo, and I guess therein lies the problem. I also find it disappointing that Messianic Jewish groups can be fundamentalist.

Hey, I’m more than willing to extend a hand of friendship with a “Jewish misfit from Detroit.” Each one of us is a teacher and student on the journey of knowing and being truth. I’m sure there is much I could learn from you and your journey.

So, it sounds like it is difficult to find a Jewish person who holds great respect for Jesus and also: a) remains faithful to all that is good about the Jewish tradition, and, b) keeps from becoming a fundamentalist

Is that true?

Also, I hear you saying that organized synagogue is a sort of litmus test, and more casual/informal expressions of Jewish community would not be acceptable.

Is that true?

Thanks!

Your nobody friend,
Jim

***

Hi Jim,

Thank you so much for writing back! Your questions are really thoughtful ones and do point to some of the frustrations I feel as a Jewish person who loves Jesus, and, to draw on your post today, struggles to follow him.

You say: “It sounds like it is difficult to find a Jewish person who holds great respect for Jesus and also: a. remains faithful to all that is good about the Jewish tradition; and, b. keeps from becoming a fundamentalist.” This has been my experience, sadly.

About “organized synagogue [being] a sort of litmus test, and more casual/informal expressions of Jewish community [not being] acceptable”—I think this touches on the essence of it. It isn’t so much that a Jewish person is judged by their attendance at temple, but that there are litmus tests, and one of them is that Jews do not “believe” in Jesus. It is kind of a counterpoint litmus test to the sinner’s prayer.

Not long ago a friend of mine told be about a Rabbi who came to speak at the synagogue where I was married. This Rabbi was an anti-missionary educator. In other words, he helps Jews not become Christians. From what I gathered, his presentation was generous in lauding the teachings of Jesus, and his emphasis is on responding to the arguments of evangelicals. While I think this is very reasonable on its face, it also belies the more fundamental problem of the relationship between Judaism and Jesus.

Another quick anecdote:  I was at the wedding of another friend seven or eight years ago, and I got into a conversation with a young Catholic seminarian. I was about twenty-two or twenty-three at the time. At a certain point, the seminarian asked me if I ever thought that Judaism could become more than a hereditary religion. I didn’t have an answer but I’ve sat with the question for all of these years. Now I think there’s a connection between this query and the goal of the anti-missionary Rabbi.

The synagogue where the rabbi spoke is very progressive and open hearted. I don’t doubt his sincerity and ecumenism. But I recall saying to my friend:  “What would be wrong with Jews becoming Christians?”

The question was, I suppose, a bit flippant, but really is what I feel. The reason why Jews don’t want their children to become Christians is because Jews have an investment in the institution of their faith, like the institutionalized church you speak about.

I don’t believe that Jesus was—or is—calling us to become one religion or another. Rather, don’t you think he calls us to transcend religion?

Whereas I despair of Judaism’s pervasive discomfort with Jesus, I understand it. Christianity hasn’t been kind to the Jewish people over the millennia. And Christianity, in its institutional contexts, has its litmus tests, as the Messianics (and evangelicals) are enthusiastic to explain.

So the Rabbis try to hold onto their flock, and the missionaries try to build up theirs, and all the while I hear that voice of Jesus talking about abandoning your father and mother to follow him. Are his words as true for the Christians shedding their religion, as for the Jews who are following Jesus’ way? It’s a hard calling.

In the midst of all of this, what hurts is the dearth of fellowship. But as I read your blog, Jim, I think maybe there is fellowship to be found there.

I truly identify with my Jewish lineage, and I’d like to pass that special heritage on to my children. And yet, there is no synagogue where I feel truly at home, because a pulpit that doesn’t have room for the radical simplicity and love of Christ is, in my opinion, missing the real power of faith and service.

Like many of the folks who seem drawn to your cyber community, this often leaves me feeling spiritually homeless. Sure, I try to remember that I’m in good company. Jesus was homeless, at least in his ministry. And those who followed him took up homelessness as well. They all either left the establishment religion, or were kicked out of it. And so beautifully, Jesus chose them, and those who were never allowed entrance into the acceptable religious circles, and offered them a way of truth and life.

Most days, though, I just want to be a better husband, father and, when I have those down, neighbor and friend. I so often just get in the way of myself and am selfish, distracted, and impatient. Jesus seems to make things so simple and at the same time, so completely radical and life-transforming. It’s hard, but it does feel right.

Gotta run and do rounds in my building, make sure all of the seniors are tucked in.

Thanks for indulging me, Jim.

(photo by zoo gal)

peace out on a limb

A frequent commenter, Jane, sent me the below story, which I wanted to share with you. Lodged into the minds of most Christians are Jesus’ words, “Follow me.” For many Christians there is a season when these words seem fairly straightforward. But then it becomes a little more complicated when following the voice of truth means leaving the IC behind and perhaps even your learned version of the Gospel. Below, Jane describes a recent experience that relates to this. She concludes with a question that I think would be a good topic for conversation.

“My teenage daughter asked me to go out ‘owling’ with her. She’s a budding ornithologist and to say that she has a Passion for wild birds is putting it mildly! She’s a great student of the natural world and for about 8 years now she’s been immersed in studying everything there is to study about wild birds.

We are fortunate to live near a thicket of woods and it’s a great place for bird-watching but owling in particular. Yet, as a mother, I wasn’t too eager for her to go out in the woods alone late at night. So, she asked me if I wanted to tag along.  After I found the biggest flash light in the house, we headed off.

As we went deeper and deeper into the woods, I found I had to rely on her guidance more and more. She knows these woods better than me but the darker it became the more concerned I became. She just kept saying, ‘follow me’. When we got to her favorite spot, we just simply stood there in the silence and darkness. It was beautiful and unnerving all at the same time. We couldn’t ’see’ anything, but could hear everything…the nighttime breeze, a few raindrops, and then a slight rustling sound. When I asked what that was, she said, ‘Mom, it’s the sound of leaves falling from the trees!’ Imagine that! Then she started her owl calls. Silence. Calling.  Silence. Calling. Silence. After awhile, faintly in the distance we heard the call of the Western Screech Owl, calling back. Then the ‘conversation’ began as we stood in the dark silence…calling and listening, calling and listening. It was so cool!!

For me this was a great lesson in how I hear His voice. How fervently am I listening for it? How do I block out the ‘noise’ of the world so I can hear his steady call to me? Am I frightened to trust His voice because I may be afraid of ‘losing favor’ with the world? I was clearly outside my physical comfort zone deep in the woods standing in total dark and stillness, yet when all other distractions were gone, that’s when I heard it.

Just as Peter was afraid to physically get out of the boat on the Sea of Galilee, am I afraid to climb out of the ‘boat’ of my worldly mind, thinking only of my security?

If I’ve learned anything on this journey so far, I’ve learned that I must be determined to follow His voice no matter where it leads me…and go out on a limb to get to the Truth. My own response to His voice was to leave the Institutional Church and to leave the Gospel that I thought I knew. For me, one of the signs that I may not have grasped the unique, radical nature of the Gospel…was the certainty that I already had!

I’ve noticed that many others on your blog Jim, have also left the IC. So, I’m wondering, ‘what does ‘follow me’ mean to you? Where has it taken you that you never thought you’d go to find His truth? How do you hear His voice? Is it when you are outside your physical comfort zone?”

(photo by zoo gal)

“Jim Palmer” and the absence of feelings

You can see by the title that this isn’t a post by Jim Palmer but by “Jim Palmer.” By now you should have reallized that each of us are perpetuating our brand. There’s a “Jim Palmer” brand, a “Joe the Plumber” brand, a Cindy…Steven…Mary brand. Just plug in your name: a ___________ brand. We are not truly ourselves but just a representation of ourselves that we present to the world. Through our appearance and fashion, through our attitudes, ideas, words, and actions, through our involvements, memberships and causes, through our Internet profiles and interactions, through our music, body art, and social circles we are representing, perpetuating, and protecting our brand. We are a representation of ourselves that we put out there. It consumes our mental energy. When we aren’t doing it, we are contemplating how to do it better, and we have constructed a way of life that is about identity or brand management.

Let’s see…there’s the “Jim the author” brand, the “Spiritual Ashley” brand, the “Progressive Paul” brand, “Randy the rock star” brand, “Tom the triathlete” brand, “Positive thinking” Penny brand, “Metanoia Mark” brand, “Friendly Frita” brand, and so on. We select the images and words and actions and interactions that support and present our brand. Penny doesn’t always think positive, Ashley doesn’t live 24/7 in a state of spiritual bliss, Mark sometimes doubts if he understands anything, Frita is sometimes flipping people off on the inside, Paul doesn’t have a new spiritual insight each day, but none of this can get out becuase it’s not part of their brand.

Do you really know who you are apart from the representation you have created and are protecting and presenting? Can you be in touch with the ‘real you’ if you are doing identity and brand management? Can you truly “be” if you are manufacturing some ‘you’ based on the the expectations of others or your own misguided need to be a somebody? Think about it: how much of your life; how much of your thought life and energy; how much of your moment-by-moment decisions and choices are driven by managing your brand?
****

Our lives each day are smothered in a steady barrage of images and information about suffering and celebration in our world. Global poverty, disease, war, oppression, death, and violence. Global triumph, victory, and achievement. On Channel 5 is an infomercial about starving children in Africa, asking for my compassionate involvement. In my Inbox are emails presenting images and information about forced child prostitution, the destruction of our environment, cruelty against animals, and HIV/AIDS. CNN shows me every gruesome tragedy and catastrophic event and act of war as it unfolds around the world. FOX shows me over and over and over again the footsge of the Phillies rushing the mound to celebrate their World Series championship. Stories that celebrate great acts of courage and compassion are incessantly presented. The Grammy Awards, MTV Awards, Academy Awards, Emmy Awards and an endlist of others fill the airwaves. Travel shows present the most beautful and scenic parts of the world.

If I were to cry every time I was faced with an image or information about suffering in our world, I would be crying all the time. If I were to be filled with excitement and joy with every celebration I am shown, I would be in a perpetual state of celebration. Instead what happens, is that I shut down emotionally. I become desensitized. I pass a person in need in my real, everyday life but I am not sensitive to their need…for food, shelter, advocacy, encouragement, or whatever. I don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t care. I’ve shut down.

Jesus was not inundated with images and information about poverty in Russia, or disease in India, or slavery in Thailand. He did not hear about wedding celebrations in New Zealand or village festivals in Kenya. He did not enlist people in global campaigns to end human suffering. Jesus entered into the suffering and celebration of life as it unfolded in real-time around him. He cried and agonized with others in their suffereing, he partied and celebrated to the fullest with his friends. To the fullest extent he lived his life.

But how do we that now? Living our lives is now living a global life, absorbing the suffering and celebration of the whole world. Who cares about helping the one person in front of me. I know too much. I help this one person, and millions just like him are multiplied in my mind from the images and information pumped into my brain.

So, can you see the problem? How can we express ‘the real’ and truly be who we are when our lives are caught up in brand management? How can we “follow our feelings” when we are dead inside, shut off, disengaged from our internal world?

By the way, I’m not saying I have the answer or solution. I wish I did. We can’t completely control the images and information presented to us. We can’t turn back the clock and live without TV, radio, and technology. It doesn’t seem realistic to build communes in the desert. Can we stop brand management? Is there a different way to interpret the information and images so they don’t deaden us?

Just asking

(photo by zoo gal)

Atheism, Parenting, and Adding to the Noise

I watched Richard Dawkins field questions at Randolf-Macon’s Woman’s College, where he spoke about his book, The God Delusion. It lasts over an hour but I enjoyed watching all of it.

I am in agreement with Dawkins and the general Atheist criticism and rejection of many things such as: the past and present atrocities, abuses and harms committed by individuals and groups in the name of God and religion; the typical sky-god notion that is common in one form or another among most religions; the oppressive and toxic impact of fear-based fundamentalist religion; and resistance or denial of scientific findings in the search for truth. It seems to me when it’s working right, a person who disbelieves in God will not too quickly judge, stereotype, and condemn all people of faith, religion, and spirituality. There are plenty of past and present individuals and group not guilty of the above items, but have instead lived as instruments of love, compassion, peace, and justice in the world.

Science has been an important catalyst in my spiritual journey the last several years. Galileo wrote, “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason, and intellect has intended to forgo their use.” In a way, this seems to fly in the face of the common idea that has even been expressed on this blog before that God can’t be figured out by the use of reason and intellect. The mind, therefore, is often seen as the enemy or at least unhelpful and likely to lead us astray. For me, I make a distinction between my mind (intellect and reasoning capacities) and my ego (that part of me devoted to individual self-preservation).

I’m never going to be accused of being an “intellectual” but it was my reading and study of quantum physics that helped me shed my sky-god understanding of God that I dragged into and imposed upon Christianity. I devote a chapter in Wide Open Spaces in telling how science helped me understand God in a way that brought great freedom. A fascinating book that delves into the topic more substantially is A New Vision of Reality: Western Science, Eastern Mysticism and Christian Faith by Bede Griffiths. You may not arrive at the same conclusions as he, but his weaving together of scientific discovery and spirituality was worth it for me.

Which leads me to parenting. Our Jessica is nine years old. It’s been some years now since we left organized church, and are not currently members of any IC. For us (as I also write about in Wide Open Spaces), “church” is a network of friendships and encompasses everywhere, all the time, with everybody. That’s not to say that we have no organized church involvements. We have friends who go to organized church, I’m sometimes invited to speak at churches, we occasionally attend special events at various churches, during the winter months of the year Pam and Jessica are involved in a spiritual formation group called The Good Shepherd. For the most part, we simply view day-to-day living, and everything that unfolds and everyone who appears as part of the journey, and we encourage Jessica in this awareness and way of life with us.

Dawkins believes that a person aquires their religious beliefs mainly as a result of adopting their parent’s religion or their culture’s religion. If you were born in a Christian family in the “Bible Belt” you are indoctrinated with and expected to be Christian. If you grew up in Indonesia, it would be Islam. For me, my uncritical acceptance of the version of “Christianity” I was exposed to led to much suffering and difficulty. On the one hand, I’m careful not to dismiss those ties because the suffering they produced ultimately lead to freedom. On the other hand, I am much more prone to encourage independent thinking in Jessica. She hears a lot of stuff from Pam and I, and all kinds of other people in our lives who believe all kinds of different views about God and spiritual matters. I will often ask Jessica what she thinks about the things she hears, and if they ring true to her. This often leads to great conversations where we both learn something.

I encourage her to realize that something is not necessarily “true” just because I or a close friend said it. We are all in the process of discovery, and the most critical skill is learning to listen to yourself - your gut, your deep feelings, that still small voice, the voice of common sense and reason, the Christ life within, the real, etc.

Which leads me to one final point. Each of us reading this blog are obviously different in terms of where we’ve been, where we currently are, and what we are most interested in discussing at this juncture in the journey. Perhaps some of you would prefer I just pick one topic or theme of conversation and only do posts about that topic or theme all the time. But i tend to go with the experiences, thoughts, and feelings that evolve out of what is unfolding in daily life, which I guess makes this somewhat of an eclectic blog. Hope that’s okay. For me, “God” is a reality that is all encompassing and involving all of life and living. Sometimes I feel inendated and burned out with all the God-talk, God-blog, God-chatter  noise, and it’s then I realize that God can’t be reduced to this noise, and for me it eventually becomes dead and lifeless. The real extends beyond words, and is just as much identifyable and experienced in all of life and living.
(photo by zoo gal)

Batman for a day (being the nobody hero)

We are back from Disney. Last Thursday, we took off to the Magic Kingdom for Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party, and stayed a few days to also do Epcot, Animal Kingdom, and Downtown Disney, where we managed to see the premiere of High School Musical 3: Senior Year. That’s right; during game 4 of the World Series I’m watching Troy and Gabriella at their prom!!! Oh well, life as a dad of a nine-year-old girl. So, I’m tired. From sun up to sun down it was Disney. Good thing I do all that triathlon training; I think we walked about 400 miles! Speaking of triathlon, we stayed at the Pop Century, and it had a long pool in the shape of a bowling pen, which meant I was able to get up early and swim laps before all the kids swarmed it. I also got in a a couple nice runs in that warm Florida sunshine.

I have a confession to make. I was too scared to ride Expedition Everest. My favorite rides were Spash Mountain and the Kali River Rapids ride. Epcot’s Soarin’ attraction was also a favorite. I spent quite a while observing the gorillas at Animal Kingdom. For some reason, I have always been fascinated by gorillas and could watch them for hours and find it extremely intersting. They are huge, strong, agile, and fascinating to watch.

We met people from all over the USA and world, and I greatly enjoyed the conversations that just sort of happened with people along the way. While Jessie and Pam were  standing in a line I struck up a conversation on a bench with Jenny from Queens, NY. She and her husband were at Disney with their children and grandchildren. I was compelled to ask her how 9/11 influenced her life. It’s been quite a few years now, and I wondered what effect it might still have on a New Yorker who had experienced the tragedy more directly. Her brother’s son, a New York City fireman, died during rescue efforts. She told me the story…how he died, and about the funeral. She had a photo of him in her purse. We went on to talk about all kinds of other things; she wanted to know more about me and living in Nashville. While we were talking, the rest of her family popped up and I met all of them. When it was time to go she took my hand and she said how glad she was to have met me. I said the same. People say that sort of thing all the time; but standing there with Jenny it was different. We both really and truly meant it. We were so glad to have met and crossed paths just for that brief encounter and conversation.

During one of the many bus rides we met a fun-loving group of Canadians, and we hit it off! At Epcot, we had fun talking with the Norwegian gal who worked in the Norway pastry shop. Folks in the Irish Pub were a hoot! During breakfast at the Pop Century, I admittedly eavesdropped on a nearby Japanese family just like ours: mom, dad and a 9ish-year-old girl. Observing and listening, I was amazed at the love and tenderness they expressed to each other.

While at Disney I was able to do a lot of one of my favorite things - people watching! From time to time there were…well, like these moments…moments when deep feelings washed over me and I knew and felt a real unity and connection with all of these people. Different sizes, different colors, different cultures, different languages, different clothes…but somehow one…together…similar…connected.

The Disney Halloween party was a costume party, and I was Batman. At a nighttime costume party, there’s a fine line between a guy dressed up in a Batman costume, and the real Batman character making an appearance. Of course Batman is not a Disney personality but that didn’t stop a lot of people from mistaking me as the possible character making an appearance. Makes sense - Disney, Halloween, nighttime, Batman appears. I can’t tell you how many kids said, “Look dad, there’s Batman!” And how many parents said, “Look son, there’s Batman.” Geesh, I felt like a celebrity! For a few hours, I was a superhero, Batman! So, I went with it. I was quietly standing against a wall in the shadows when a young boy saw me. His eyes got big and his jaw dropped open but before he could say anything I put my finger to my lips, giving him the be-quiet signal so as not to announce that Batman was at Disney to save Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofey, and the rest of them if necessary. Those cream-puff characters had no shot of survival without Batman around!

It was interesting being a hero in the eyes of some of these kids. Which got me thinking…

What is it about the hero that we all identify with? What is it really that makes a hero a hero? Who is a hero? Whatever it is, it somehow get’s packaged up convincingly in superheros like Superman and Batman? What are the common denominators among these kinds of heroes and their stories? What makes them timeless in their appeal? Does the true and underlying essence of a “hero” need a mask and cape, or superhuman abilities and powers. Can ordinary, nobody people be heroes? Can heroic acts appear commonplace or unnoticed altogether? Is there a “hero” in every one of us waiting to come out and live? What would that “inner hero” in you be or do?

(photo by Trioculus)

who or what is God?

i mentioned in a comment on a previous post that when i am conversing with others about “God” that i often wonder if we are referring to the same reality. which prompted the question: who or what is God in terms of your understanding?

this morning i received an email that read:

“God and man are like the two ends of one line. When a believer in God conceives of God as a separate entity and of man as a being separate from Him, he makes himself an exile, an exile from the kingdom of God. He holds fast to the form of God created by himself, and he does not reach the Spirit of God. However good and virtuous he has been in life, however religious in his actions, he has not fulfilled the purpose of his life. …

Those who think that God is not outside but only within are as wrong as those who believe that God is not within but only outside. In fact God is both inside and outside, but it is very necessary to begin by believing in that God outside. From our childhood we have learned everything outside. We learn what the eye is by looking at the eyes of others; everything we see in ourselves we have always learned from outside.

So even in order to learn to see God we must begin by seeing God outside: as the Creator, the Judge, the Knower of all things, the forgiver; and when we have understood Him better, the next step is that the God that we have always seen outside we now also find within, and that completes our worship. If we have only found Him outside then we are His worshippers, but we remain separate from him and there is no communion, which is the purpose of life.”

i’m not sure i really buy everything that is said here but i was intrigued with the idea that our understanding of God naturally evolves. so, how do you understand “God”? who or what is “God” in terms of your understanding? and how do you understand yourself to relate to or plug into this understanding of God? try to be as practical as possible. i’m not looking for a theological or philosophical thesis.

i am welcoming any person’s response. please don’t use this thread to judge others on their view or argue your view of God over other people’s views. for the purposes of this thread, let’s just accept there will be different answers, even conflicting ones.

(photo by zoo gal)

you can’t get there from here (or can you)

one of the main reasons as a writer why i simply stick to telling my story is because i realize every person’s journey is different, and to extract from my experience a set of principles and guidelines for others to follow seems insane. seriously, i sometimes wonder if there’s one other person in this world who got to where i am from where i was.

here’s one example…

for all practical purposes, i became an atheist as it relates to the “God” that i had created in my mind (more or less a “Christian” sky-god to fear and appease) and worshiped for many years. there was this period when my foundational understandings of God had collapsed and there wasn’t any new understandings yet to plug into its place, which meant, for me, there was no God at all. eventually, new understandings came but even to this day i often wonder as i am conversing with others about “God” if we are talking about the same reality. so, it was more than just “shedding religion,” it was a matter of shedding God or shedding my faulty framework of God.

this still makes it difficult when trying to answer the simplest questions:

Jim, do you pray? yes, but probably not in the way you think of prayer.

Jim, do you believe in the Bible? yes, but probably not in the way you understand or interpret the Bible.

Jim, is Jesus the way, and do you still believe in the gospel? yes, but probably not how you understand Jesus as the way or the meaning of the gospel.

there was a time when i began feeling like i was perhaps creating a new Christianity that wasn’t really Christian at all. but after getting out a bit beyond my brand of Christianity and digging around in church history i was surprised to discover i had not come up with anything new, and that others, including some of the very first Jesus people, had understood these things in similar ways.

and yet, i’m not sure this matters too much. i don’t feel the need to cling to the label “Christian,” and i am okay with people who don’t think i am one. chances are i’m not in terms of their definition. the fact that others in the past and present hold views similar as mine was helpful for a season when i was sometimes concerned i might be going off the deep end. the risk, however, in placing too much weight on this is that you become dependent again on others outside yourself for determining truth. the ego is famous for wanting to gather evidence to claim it is right and find security in it’s new and progressive understandings about God. i’m not saying that we don’t help each other along in knowing and being truth but i find that fewer people apply themsleves in being aware and turning toward and following the presence of truth, wisdom, peace, love, freedom, contentment that is within them and is them. people tend to ascribe more validity when experiencing the ‘real’ in others then when we experience it within oursleves. many people feel a sense of lack, insufficiency, and inadequacy about themselves.

the record of Jesus’ life depicts Jesus as someone who knew the truth of who he was, and lived it confidently. he parted with his religious tradition when necessary. he had no need to be somebody special in the eyes of the world. he often did not live up to other people’s expectations and desires. he did not need others to confirm or validate him.

what if we lived with that same confidence? why don’t we?

(photo by zoo gal)

the failure to understand

an Atheist friend of mine pointed me in the direction of a few Atheist blogs. it’s often the case that a “Christian” will feel the need to leave a comment on these blogs in an effort to defend God and Christianity or evangelize the Atheist. to be completely honest, reading some of these comments was scary, and i could understand why an Atheist would conclude that religious people are seriously lacking in the intelligence department.

i’m on several email lists, and i often receive emails that are intended to represent the “Christian” response or view to various current events or issues. lately such emails have been about the presidential campaign. it’s hard to string together nice-sounding words to describe the stupidity of some of these emails. i realize the word “stupidity” sounds harsh and judgmental but the word “idiotic” seemed worse.

i realize that the above mentioned blog comments and emails are not representative of all Christians, and admittedly there was a time in my life when i was one of those writing such comments and emails. in hind sight, i can plainly see that back then if i had simply applied common sense, or considered the voice of reason, or truly listened to the witness of truth within myself, or examined things with more of a critical eye, or took the time to press deeper and investigate expressed opinions and views of others more thoroughly, then i would have spared myself from a lot of the insanity i found myself in.

lately i’ve noticed several instances where Christian people seem to lack understanding. here are a few quick examples:

1. the inability to hold a differing political view or perspective from another person without demonizing the other person by either mischaracterizing their view, or attacking them personally in terms of their character, motives, faith, etc. for some reason is still hasn’t sunk in for many Christians that people of faith are on both sides of every issue and political view. there is no political litmus test that defines a Christian.

2. a grossly inadequate and inaccurate understanding of other religions or worldviews, and a failure to appreciate the objections these religions and worldviews may have with the Christian’s understanding of God and the world. too often i see that people buy into the unfair, simplistic, and convenient stereotypes, rather than truly seeking to understand.

3. a failure to understand the importance of the separation of church and state OR a failure to appreciate others for whom the separation of church and state is extremely important. the examples in the world we have where church and state are not separated show us that this leads to tyranny and oppression. many people believe that “absolute power corrupts absolutely” and that the result would be no different even if it was Christianity as our state religion.

4. an inability to recognize what appears as a double-standard in the eyes of others. Christians often accuse other religions of promoting hate and violence. meanwhile, in the Christian’s Bible the Old Testament tells stories where military campaigns against pagan peoples are justified in the name of God. a more recent historical example would be the crusades. of course a Christian is going to say in this case it was okay because they were following the one true God, but can you see why this appears as a double-standard to other religions who equally think they are right about their God? it can come off as, “hate and violence is okay as long as i’m the one doing it. if you’re doing it you are evil. if i’m doing it i am righteous.”

so, what causes all of the above and how does one change? probably the best i have to offer is to reflect upon how it has seemed to happen with me.

the more i have listened to and followed the ‘real’ within me, the more i process all of life differently. when i wasn’t listening to and following the ‘real’ within me, i was listening to and following the ‘ego’ me. the ‘ego’ me was bent on creating, extending, perpetuating, defending, and protecting a human identity. the system by which the ‘ego’ does this is a system of winners and losers, right people and wrong people, us and them, allies and enemies, etc. while playing that game, my energies were solely focused on my ego agenda, which led to my doing all the above four things i mentioned. other people, other ideas, other views were all threats, and were rejected, attacked, or dismissed accordingly. i was always right and good, which meant others were always wrong and evil. many people of all worldviews function out of this ego-agenda, which is why there is no secret as to why there is so much hatred, division, and violence in our world.

here’s what i’m finding as time goes on:

1. as i become more in tune with what’s real, i seem to approach more of life from a state of peace. what i mean is, my need to find identity on a human/ego level has died off considerably, and i realize that nothing on that level poses a threat to what is real for me. no person or view poses a threat, and there is nothing for me to truly gain or lose in my interactions with others whoever they are or whatever they believe. i am peace within myself, and i find that i can approach the world without that frantic internal mess of self-focus. this allows me to not just hear what the other person is saying but a genuine openness to understand why they are saying it. i am finding it extremely helpful in moving beyond a stated view or opinion, and seeking to understand the process that led to the formation of that view or opinion.

2. as i am more aware of the ‘real’ within me, i find myself seeking to relate more to the ‘real’ within others. the ‘real’ within all people (i.e. “image of God”) produces the same desires. every person desires love, peace, freedom, compassion, well-being, contentment, and harmony. the ‘real’ within all people desires this for themselves and all people. when i relate to a person out of those spiritual attributes of the ‘real,’ i often find that it connects with the ‘real’ within them, and opens the door for meaningful connection and a desire for a common reality of goodness. relating to others back and forth on the ego/self level creates gridlock, but when i choose to relate to the ‘real’ within others, i find that “kingdom” realities are stirred and manifested.

3. day by day i seek to live out the ‘real’ in the context of my human circumstances. for example, yesterday i voted in the presidential campaign (early voting in Nashville). while standing in line, i struck up a conversation with the guy in front of me. as it turns out, he planned to vote for a different candidate then myself. i asked about what influenced his decision and learned quite a bit about him in the process. i agreed with him on many instances and i could see we both had similar desires on what the outcome of the election might ultimately produce but i had my own reasons for voting for a different candidate. i felt like we connected on a deeper level, and that making that deeper connection truly mattered.

a final word about this very long post. i’m not trying to convince you to look at or approach things like i do. heck, six months from now my view of some things may change itself. any blog post is like a camera snapshot, capturing a moment in time. each day is an experiment in living out what’s real in the context of everyday life. i’m not saying my way should be your way. i don’t mean to unfairly come down hard on Christians. i’m sure people of all beliefs and views do the same. since my world, directly and indirectly, involves a lot of people who identify themselves as “Christians,” this is a group that often supplies examples. anything i may pin on others is likely something i did myself, and so i am only pointing the finger at myself.

anyway, thank goodness the Red Sox squeaked one out

(photo by zoo gal)

the “shedding religion” path

as you know, a while back i started a “shedding religion” Yahoo Group for people to connect with one another as they continue along the path of living in spiritual freedom. for an outsider looking in, some of the steps on this path seem questionable. what follows are a few of those common objections, and my response to them based on my own experience and how it all evolved for me.

You don’t go to church anymore

If a person’s involvement in a church feeds and reinforces a message and perspective that hinders their knowing God, then it makes complete sense not to involve yourself there anymore. Many Christians receive their understanding about God through the institution of Church and when they discover this understanding is deeply flawed and they see how this flawed understanding has damaged their lives, they remove themselves from their church. The reason most people object to this is because these confuse leaving one’s church with leaving one’s faith. Research shows that “church leavers” grow stronger in their faith, as opposed to digressing in their faith. The issue is also controversial because people wrongly equate “church” with their specific form of church. There are an endless number of forms of church ranging from highly organized to practically no organization at all. Many people who leave organized church eventually connect in smaller, more informal types of community, which may not comply with the letter of the law when it comes to institutional church but fulfills the true spirit of “church.”

You are reading some really weird books

Many Christians in the “shedding religion” process will read books that: a) looks at their Christian faith with a critical eye, b) promotes spirituality over religion, c) offers a different and fresh view and perspective on faith and God. Let me give you some examples. Some people will be drawn to “emergent” authors because they often write with a critical eye toward status quo Christianity. What i mean by “critical” is not being negative but careful and in-depth evaluation. For example, Brain McLaren’s A New Kind of Christian trilogy offers a critique and alternative to status quo Christainity in the form of a story. It’s no secret why McLaren and others like him get hammered by the Christian establishment. If you mess with city hall, you’re going to pay for it. People criticize such authors as having “bad theology.” In my opinion, many of the criticizers have “bad theology,” and so i’m not sure where that argument ends. Even people like Chris Seay, Frank Viola, and Wayne Jacobsen (the list is very long) get criticised for not holding the party line on what a “good Christian” should or shouldn’t believe and do. Such writers are compelling to “shedding religion” folks becuase they offer the prospect of knowing God and following Jesus as a way of life as opposed to check-list Christianity of Christianity as institutional involvement or compliance.

People who are “shedding religion” are also drawn to books that promote and speak to spirituality over religion or books that focus on nurturing your inner world. You’d be surprised to know even how many church-going Christians secretly read Eckhart Tolle books but would never admit it. For some people, reading one chapter out of The Power of Now was worth more than one year of sermons. This is also the reason why some Christians become interested in Buddhism and Eastern spirituality; these seem to speak more deeply to the root condition of humankind and one’s inner spiritual world as opposed to the focus of a lot of pop-Christian writings. At first, some people are not aware that there is a rich Christian tradition of contemplatives and mystics who lived a very robust Christ-centered spirituality. A few contemporary examples might be Thomas Merton, Ricahrd Rohr, Bede Griffiths, and Flora Wueller.

You are in danger of going off the deep end

Perhaps one of the most annoying things (to those who judge them) about people who are shedding religion is that they begin thinking for themselves. Some Christians have come from churches where the idea is fostered that congregants should only expose themselves to church-approved leaders, teachers, writers, musicians, politicians etc…because doing otherwise would be the equivalent of purchasing a one-way ticket to the flames of hell. Apparently, only a very select few people are capable of discerning truth on their own, the rest of us are ill-equipped for doing so and would be easily lured into all kinds of error if left to our own. I know this may be difficult for some to believe, but people are capable of being exposed to all kinds of differing views of God, and can discern for themselves what truth is present in these views, and what of these views seems inconsistent with truth. I have a Buddhist friend; i have detected truth is things he believes but i did not become a Buddhist. I have an Atheist friend; i totally agree with this person’s views on various things but i did not become an Atheist. I have a N.Y. Yankees friend, i agree that the Yankees have some of the best baseball players but i did not become a Yankees fan. People are truly capable of doing this sort of thing.

When people begin thinking for themselves and base their opinions on firsthand personal experience, they realize that the world doesn’t fit so nicely into all the labels and boxes that religion is sometimes prone toward imposing on things. Religion and politics seems to share a difficulty in disagreeing with others without demonizing them, and wants to slice up the world into the “us” and “them” camp or the “right” and “wrong” camp. I’m not talking about turning a blind eye to evil in the world, or pretending that one’s beliefs doesn’t fuel such evil. All religions, including Christians, have justified evil in the name of God.

You can’t give a straight answer

Over the weekend something on C-SPAN caught my attention. Lehman Brothers CEO, Ricahrd Fuld, was testifiying before congress about the Lehman collapse. Frustration escalated as various congress members asked questions, apparently assuming that Fuld’s answers would be swift and straightforward. Fuld had answers, but they weren’t the simplistic ones congress members were fishing for. In many instances, congress members asked Fuld to answer certain questions with just a “yes” or “no.” Fuld refused, and frustrations intensified. i am no Wall Street expert but it sure seemed to be that Fuld was dead on in the way he answered questions, which was showing the complexity of the Lehman collapse, and all the moving parts involved. Regardless of how much blame one lays at the feet of Fuld, it seemed to me that the congress was frustrated by the fact that the whole situation couldn’t be so easily sorted out in order to cast blame. I honestly wondered if they really wanted to know and understand it, or just looking to for Fuld to cough up some answer that would support their pre-determined conclusions.

Likewise, lots of questions aren’t as easy anymore for Christians in the “shedding religion” process. For example, questions like: “Are you a Christian?” or “Do you believe in the Bible?” or “Do you go to church?” or “Do you believe in the gospel?” are no longer “yes” or “no” questions for a person who is “shedding religion.” He or she is immediately wondering what is your definition of a “Christian,” and what is your interpretation of the Bible, and how you delineate what “church” is, and how do you understand the “gospel?” By not answering “yes” or “no” it is not a sign that the person is “dodging the issue;” they legitimately cannot answer with a simple “yes” or “no.” It would be better to ask more open-ended questions like, How is Jesus Christ relevant to you?

my disclaimer: my wife Pam sometimes feels I am “too hard” on the “Christian establishment.” Let me be the first to say that I know many people who identify themselves as “Christians” who are deeply spiritual, and not guilty of the things I described above. Some of these Christians have had a big influence on my own journey. I also know there are organized forms of church that promote true and authentic Christ-centered spirituality, as well as open, honest, and authentic relationships. I know many Christian churches that are wonderful expressions of love, compassion, and service in the communities where they exist. Since my personal experiences are in some cases related to Christians and churches (including myself) that were guilty of the above shortcomings, I am prone to speak of it. Based on my experience the last few years since writing Divine Nobodies and Wide Open Spaces, I have encountered countless numbers of people who have a similar experiences. I mainly wrote the above post in hopes of encouraging more understanding about many people who are in “shedding religion” mode.

(photo by zoo gal)

that’s just the way it is

in the last few weeks Americans discovered the fragility of our economy and financial infrastructures. some were caught off guard and were surprised things could slide so fast. sometimes, things that appear rock solid on the outside are quite vulnerable at the core. the school bully appears frightening to everyone but the smallest confrontation could quite possibly call his bluff and expose his true weakness.

it got me wondering about the ego/flesh system set up in our world, and all the hate, injustice, despair, division, greed, suffering, disease, loneliness, dysfunction, poverty, emptiness, and destruction it produces. strangely enough it was Tupac’s remix of “That’s Just the Way It Is” that got me pondering all this.

is it true - “that’s just the way it is?” is it true - “some things never change?” should we be waiting for Jesus to come back and fix it?

or is it that we have bought into the ego/flesh propaganda, which makes the system look rock solid and unchangeable? but didn’t Jesus expose the truth that the system is actually quite weak and fragile at its core? the system played it’s best card - death, and Jesus trumped it, exposing the whole thing as a load of crock.

so, why don’t we stop believing the propaganda, and quit investing ourselves in that system? do we have to play by their rules - hate, greed, and pride? what would it mean to only invest ourselves in the kingdom of God? sure, you might look foolish in the eyes of some by doing so; so did Jesus.

maybe the system is closer to collapse than we think.

(photo by zoo gal)

spiritual subtraction (I - Me = Freedom)

it’s fall, and we decided to do a house deep clean yesterday. it involved dragging a bunch of stuff out into the garage in preparation for next weekend’s neighborhood garage sale. it’s amazing how much stuff i hold onto that i don’t need or use but for some strange reason can’t let go of. and yet getting this stuff out of our house felt good. it kinda felt like having a new beginning - a fresh start on a simpler and uncluttered life.

it got me thinking about all the “letting go” kinds of things that have been an aspect of my journey these last few years. for example, there have been many instances of letting go of my fixed ideas about all kinds of things - my fixed ideas about people, my fixed ideas about God and truth and myself. in many respects Divine Nobodies was simply my story of letting go but the letting go continues to this day. it’s not easy to let go of long-held ideas. heck, for that matter, it’s sometimes not easy for me to even let go of short-held ideas! my mind likes the security of a fixed idea, especially the ones i come up with.

i’ve also had to let go of the notion that i can control my circumstances. my motivation for wanting to control them was the misguided idea that the “right” circumstances would bring me love, peace, contentment, fulfillment, and freedom. an aspect of this has also been letting go of the notion that God sits on a throne in the sky, and if i’m good or pray a lot, that God will intervene and work out my circumstances as desired, or at least as a bare minimum protect me from catastrophy. in many respects, this was the motivation during my religious days - appeasing and petitioning God as a means of influencing the circumstances of my life.

the letting go list goes on - letting go of others opinions of me, letting go of those activities and endeavors of my life that are just ego games, letting go of my attachments to outcomes, and letting go of my misplaced dependencies for worth and identity. for many years i thought of spiritual growth as addition, adding a bunch of stuff you don’t currently have to your life that you imagine you need: more knowledge, more discipline, more commitment, more faith, more community, more service, etc. it seems now though that it’s more a matter of subtraction. i already am all that i need (an expression of God, the kingdom of God within, Christ life, however you relate to it), and letting go or subtracting the other stuff allows it.

the words “letting go” aren’t perfect because they seem to emphasize that it’s something i consciously did. there’s a real fine line here because it doesn’t seem like i should really take much credit. it’s not like i set out to identify what to let go of, and then as i uncovered things said, “Oh okay, well I’ll just let go of that one now, and be done with it. Whew, glad that one is gone.” what seems to happen is that all kinds of factors come together in any given moment or circumstance where i become conscious of needing to let go. often it involves experiencing suffering, and then i discover that the root of my suffering is something i’m holding onto.
the words “letting go” also seem to imply that it’s a one-and-done deal. but for me, “letting go” is more of a daily tool. plenty of opportunity presents itself in my mind to latch onto something, and so i see it for what it is and refuse to grab ahold of it. i let it go.

(photo by Shenghung)

My So-Concepted Life

No, not “my so-called life” but “my so-concepted life.” What kind of life is this? It’s a life of concepts. In this life there are no real people, just concepts of people. It’s not even necessary to relate to real and actual people, i can just relate to my concept of them. Have trouble connecting and communicating? No problem, just deal in concepts; there’s a concept for everything.
God, truth, the real you, freedom, peace, love - Ha! No way; just concepts of God, truth, the real you, freedom, peace, and love. Not so fast; it’s not a totally empty life. Don’t you feel good when you’ve got something all packaged up in a concept? Once you manufacture the concept, it’s as if it must be real, and you feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment; you know, like you’re finally getting somewhere. Of course there is no “getting somewhere” but you have the concept of “getting somewhere” because that’s how it works in your “so-concepted life.”

are you bored with your current concepts? Well, crank out some new ones. Do you need an enemy to fight? Go ahead and be my guest; create the concept of any enemy you’d like. In the so-concepted life, you become so immersed in concepts that you can’t imagine any reality outside them.

Hmm…maybe there is someone out there who is living in the real. If so, would you leave a comment and express what it’s like? It would be very-much appreciated. That way I can take what you express and create a new concept and be happy again.

(photo by zoo gal)

the e-word

over the last few weeks we have had quite a bit of discussion about the “ego” or “ego-mind.” for some, the very word “ego” seems somewhat elusive and out there, and might not be a very common word among many “Christians,” though Biblical words such as “flesh” and others seem to be pointing to it. i know for myself, i still struggle through how to deal with the ego. so, i’ve got several questions in hopes of unpacking it all with more clarity. or is the desire for clarity and understanding a produce of the ego?

1. Is there a concise definition of the ego that is helpful? Perhaps briefly describe what the ego does and why?
2. Is the ego necessary for being human, and if so, for what? Does the ego have a positive role if kept in check?
3. How do you deal with the ego - do you ignore it, fight it, transform it, etc.?

4. What does it mean to not identify with your ego, and to instead live from and follow the Christ life, intuitive knowing, deep feelings within?

5. Is the ego capable of being conditioned to get in line with and follow truth? Can the ego tap into love, freedom, peace, contentment, etc?

6. Does the ego ever go away, or is that not desirable or necessary?

8. Since the ego is a concept-producing machine, should we stop incessant talk and discussion on a conceptual level and seek to relate/discuss more on an intuitive and deep feeling level?

(photo by zoo gal)

applying the new mind

i appreciate every person who contacts me as a result of reading one of my books. often as a result, new friendships begin and conversations evolve. i’ve been on the road the last few days and i received an email from someone who is struggling through watching someone they deeply care for suffer through cancer. as part of the email she mentioned, “why God allow bad things to happen to good people.”

i asked her if she would consider a different way of processing the situation. what if instead the truth is, God never shuts off the supply of good for anyone, ever, no matter their condition or circumstance.  another way you could say it is, the source of all goodness is unconditionally present within our being in every moment. the Christ life within, or that intuitive knowing knitted to the fabric of our deepest being, or those deep feelings flowing within us, which connect us with love, peace, freedom, and contentment are never under any threat by the condition of our human body or the reality of our human circumstances. the changing condition of our human body and human circumstances are part of what it means to be a human expression of divine reality. and yet none of this shuts off the supply of everything that is truly good.

right?

(photo by zoo gal)

what does the sun do? shine

so, let’s say you come to this point on the journey when you realize that ‘you’ are not the sum total of your physical biology or the sum total of what happens in your mind. come to think of it, you realize, your mind seems to be perpetually preoccupied with things like comparing yourself to others, acquiring something you don’t have, doing something important that others will take note of, being accepted and loved by others, proving your superiority over others, what people think of you, and an endless amount of other things that just seem to breed discontent, fear, worry, and all kinds of crappy stuff.

so you realize there is more to you than what you see in the mirror and all the craziness that goes on in your head.

perhaps you’ve been told you were created as a reflection or image of God, or as a Christian you know that the Christ life flows within you, or maybe you have realized there is something more to you that springs forth from your deep feelings or a certain intuitive knowing inside you. in any event, more and more you are identifying with that divine reflection or Christ life or deep feeling or intuitive knowing within you. more and more you are understanding these to be the real you.

it dawns on you that this ‘you’ can’t be improved, made better, enlightened, or enhanced. does the image of God need imporvement? is the Christ life within you in need of progress? do those deep feelings or that intuitve knowing need educated? you realize, this ‘you’ is all that it is in every moment, and never in need of you doing anything. it’s like the sun. the sun is the sun always. it doesn’t strive to be the sun. it doesn’t need help to be the sun. it doesn’t follow a program to be a better sun. it never fears being less of a sun. it isn’t bogged down in an endless number of options about how to be or how not to be the sun. it’s just the sun…always. it has no options…it just is.

what would life be like if we quit feeding and acting upon all that stuff in our mind, and instead just allowed ourselves to be a reflection or expression of God, be the Christ life, be those deep feelings or intuitive understanding?

so what i’m asking is, what would a life of simply being these entail? what if we stopped orienting our lives around all the head stuff, and oriented all of life around being that real you?

(photo by zoo gal)

do you need a philosophy degree from Harvard?

i was recently talking with one of my “divine nobody” friends who reads this blog regularly but does not comment. he mentioned that sometimes he feels like it’s too complicated for him. so, just let me ask the question: do you have to have a PhD in Philosophy from Harvard or spend two years at the Institute of Metaphysical Studies in order to grasp and live the simple truth? i hope not!

i know for me, i tend to steer away from using typical Christian language to identify or describe things i’m experiencing because for many years i used this language and it either reinforced error (at least the way i was using it) or it was just nice-sounding words or phrases that sounded good and Christian but did not correspond to anything real i was actually experiencing in life. so, i became more descriptive and at times replaced words like “flesh” with alternatives such as “ego-mind.” but then the way it goes, the new language can also become nothing more that just some new, progressive, more enlightening-sounding language that still may not have any connection with the reality of your life.

so, it prompted me to do this post. alright, here we go…

what can you say you know is truth because you have experienced it or because you have had that deep feeling or gut intuition or inner knowing that it is truth. for the purpose of this post, you can’t base your answer on the Bible or your interpretation of it, or any sacred writing or spiritual guru or philosophy. if truth is eternal and timeless, you should be able to experience it right now as opposed to relying on what anyone in the past said about it. so, what do you know as truth as a result of what you are experiencing or know inside now.

(photo by zoo gal)

Jim Update

hello all. i wanted to jump in to give folks a quick update. over the past few weeks i’ve become more aware of the fact that there are far more people who visit the blog than there are people who comment on it. lately, blog posts have been continuing along a conversation that began several posts ago. people are on all ends of the spiritual spectrum, and working through different things. i receive a lot of emails from folks who are on the front end of shedding religion. you’ll notice on the header tabs that there’s now one entitled “Shedding Religion (Help!)”, which ultimately leads to a yahoo group for people to share the good, bad, and ugly of their first steps into spiritual freedom. so, you can read more about it by clicking the tab and join the group if this appeals to you.

i have had a few injuries that has caused me to adjust some of my triathlon goals. i’m the wiser for it, and it has helped me fine-tune my training plan headed into the off-season. there are two half ironman races i am training for. i would say i am ultimately training for a full ironman but i better not in case pam reads this blog post. let’s just say, she hates to see me in pain. i’m continuing to write on my triathlon site, and i’m thinking about starting a tri club at our local Y.

i’ve committed to writing two books for Zondervan Publishing. it wasn’t an easy decision; there have been times that i’ve contemplated not writing any more books.  let’s face it, other than politics, nothing is more controversial than the subject of religion/God, and has a way of bringing out the worst in some people. i have no desire to debate and argue about God. i could easily go bye-bye and fade into the woodwork, and i would be sufficiently content to simply know and live the truth. i have no desire to be a guru, or start the Jim Palmer Spiritual Movement; i’m happy being a nobody. for me, the best part of writing books and all the other stuff associated with it is the people you meet along the way and what you learn from them.

Divine Nobodies is my shedding religion story, and Wide Open Spaces describes some of my first steps into freedom and knowing God outside the box. the book I’m now writing for Zondervan continues telling the story of my spiritual evolution. the book is the story of what has transpired in my life and who Jim Palmer has become as a result of “metanoia.” heck, after this book comes out you may never want me to write another book again!
i’ve had some great conversations with the folks at Zondervan. they are genuinely intersted in promoting more than the typical religious message that too often passes as “Christianity.”

by the way, i appreciate people who comment on my blog posts and contact me by email. often i’m able to meet people face-to-face when they have reason to visit or drive through nashville. let me know if you’re ever going to be in these parts.

(photo by jolisoleil)